La, La, La! It’s My Birthday!

OK. So, I am 56 today, más o menos, and I’m wondering (because I strongly suspect) is the arena of freedom just around the corner? Man, I hope so… I just wish my son was older, so I could be a bigger burden… /kidding!/ [no, not really] I think we could adopt an MBA lawyer type child (~30) who wanted to support us. Like in Costa Rica. We’d be cheap, really…

Ambercat: A superior climate proxy to Amberat?

One of the tools to reconstruct climate history in the Great Basin and North America Deserts (Mojave, Sonoran, etc.) are packrat middens. From the Wikipedia article on packrat middens:

Pack rats are known for their characteristic searching of materials to bring back to their nests creating an ever expanding collection known as a “midden” for its messiness. In natural environments, the middens are normally built out of sticks in rock crevices or caves for protection from predators. In the absence of crevices or caves, the middens are often built under trees or bushes. The pack rats will also use plant fragments, animal dung and small rocks in building the nest. The vast majority of the materials will be from a radius of several dozen yards of the nest. The pack rats urinate in the midden; sugar and other substances in the urine crystallizes as it dries out, creating a material known as amberat, cementing the midden together.

There are some amusing (or sickening, depending on how black your humors are) tales of Anglo explorers eating amberat, supposing it was some sort of desert bounty. After a couple of days (really) they quickly they were mistaken. shudder

Previously unexamined, perhaps because century- and millennial- depth deposits are seldom, if ever, allowed to accumulate, are the feline urine cemented deposits of ambercat that occur in cat litter boxes. Judging from the rapidity and volume that can be generated in geologically insignificant timescales (24 – 36 hours with multiple felines contributing to the ‘midden’) these proxies could be valuable for climatic reconstruction if deposits could be identified prior to the radiocarbon ‘recent.’

Absent its scientific value, I would personally be overjoyed to discover that ambercat had some sort of commercial value as our felines are apparently ‘top producers’ of ambercat, indeed in commercially viable quantities. I await your offers. There is a bagged sample at the curb right now.

Are Archaeologists Smarter?

Ever eat a PB&J in the field?

Could playing in the dirt make you smarter? Studies in mice suggest that it could. Mice given peanut butter laced with a common, harmless soil bacterium ran through mazes twice as fast and enjoyed doing so.

Eat bacteria to boost brain power New Scientist

[from the ARCH-L listerv]

Is the whole “ran through mazes twice as fast and enjoyed doing so” a reference to Graduate school at all?

Does eating dirt as a kid (pica) count?

Maybe…, why do you ask?

‘Yes Men’ at it Again

April 19, 2010
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DOW THROWS A DISMAL PARTY, FEW ATTEND
Underattended “Run for Water” plagued by death, zombies, and dozens of “Dow spokesmen”; truth seems to run free

Video: Yes Men video coming soon here; other video here
Stills: Yes Men pictures coming soon here; numerous others here
Contact: Whitney Black (803)466-3786; press@theyesmen.org

Brooklyn, NY — Bucolic Prospect park in Brooklyn, NY played host to a bizarre spectacle on Sunday, as a dramatically under-attended Dow-sponsored “Run for Water” was infiltrated and turned upside down by hundreds of furious activists, including a hundred dressed as Dow spokespeople.

New Yorkers who came to the park expecting a light run followed by a free concert found themselves unwitting extras in a macabre and chaotic scene as runners keeled over dead, Dow-branded grim reapers chased participants, and a hundred fake Dow representatives harangued other protesters and and handed out literature that explained Dow’s greenwashing program in frank detail.

The actions called attention to Dow’s toxic legacy in places like India (the Bhopal Catastrophe), Vietnam (Agent Orange) and Midland Michigan (Dioxin Contamination), and to the absurdity of a company with serious water issues all over the world sponsoring the Live Earth Run For Water.

After race cancellations in London, Milan, Berlin, and Sweden, on-site Dow brand managers were in damage-control mode. But their job was made harder by the hundred fake “Dow” spokespeople who loudly but clumsily proclaimed Dow’s position (“Our race! Our earth!” and “Run for water! Run for your life!”), spoke with many runners, screamed at the other protesters, passed out beautifully-produced literature, and all in all looked a whole lot better than the real Dow reps, who seemed eager to make themselves scarce.

“I don’t know what’s going on here,” said Tracey Von Sloop, a Queens woman who attended the race. “All I know is these people are both crazy, and Dow is f*ing sick. I’m outta here.”

The event was the latest blow to Dow’s greenwashing efforts, the most visible element of which is the “Human Element” multi-media advertising campaign, one of the most expensive, and successful, marketing efforts in recent history. It even won an “Effie Award” for the most effective corporate advertising campaign in North America.

"Effective," perhaps — but also completely misleading. To name just a few examples of Dow’s water-related issues: Dow refuses to clean up the groundwater in Bhopal, India, site of the largest industrial disaster in human history, committed by Dow’s fully-owned subsidiary, Union Carbide. As a result, children continue to be born there with debilitating birth defects. Dow has also dumped hundreds of millions of pounds of toxic chemical byproducts into wetlands of Louisiana, and has even poisoned its own backyard, leaving record levels of dioxins downriver from its global headquarters in Midland, Michigan.

“We thought it must be a joke when we first heard that Dow Chemical Company was sponsoring a run for clean water,” said Yes Woman Whitney Black. “Sadly, it was not. One of the world’s worst polluters trying to greenwash its image instead of taking responsibility for drinking water and ecosystems it has poisoned around the world? What an awfully unfunny way to start off Earth Week. We decided the event needed a little comic relief.”

Irony was piled on irony throughout the race, which Dow absurdly claimed was going to be “the largest solutions-based initiative aimed at solving the global water crisis in history. At one point, organizers were caught on tape dramatically throwing out excess water left over because of an embarrassingly low turnout.

Groups organizing the action included the Center for Health, Environment and Justice, the International Campaign for Justice in Bhopal, New York Whale and Dolphin Action League, the Vietnam Agent Orange Relief and Responsibility Campaign, the Wetlands Activism Collective, Global Justice for Animals and the Environment, Kids For A Better Future, The Yes Men, and hundreds of assorted volunteers, activists and mischief makers.
[Thank you, Claudia!]

Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus have a sword fight

I’m just sayin’…

I understand the importance the resurrection story holds in your particular religion. If I too knew some guy that had been killed and placed inside a cave with a rock in front of it and I visited the cave to find the rock moved and his body gone, the only logical assumption would be that he had risen from the dead and is the son of God. Once, my friend Simon was rushed to hospital to have his appendix removed and I visited him the next day to find his bed empty. I immediately sacrificed a goat and burnt a witch in his name but it turned out that he had not had appendicitis, just needed a good poo, and was at home playing Playstation. [thank you, 27bslash6, via Doug Miller]